once again, i'm back, only this time, it's been about three weeks gone. in this time, i have, upon several occasions, gotten angry about things happening and have been really tempted to run to the internet to shout out my problems. however, in the interest of not making a fool of myself and people around me, i had temporarily forsaken this blog and my readers. my views show it clearly. to those of you who actually still read this, thanks for your patience during this time of duress.

despite my wanting not to internet rant, i really have little else to say, thus i shall explain the sources of my grievances, which are many:

1. Ignorance
2. Complaining and whining
3. Minority rights
4. Closed minded people
5. Obstinacy
6. Liars
7. Hypocrites
8. Flirtation confusion.

something of a list. starting at the top, i guess.

1. Ignorance.

how can people possibly choose to be ignorant? i am here specifically speaking about my generation, but the adults and leaders of our world are also fairly ignorant and submissive in their low-level positions on the ladder that is society. Many people are satisfied with simply sitting on the lowest run, watching all the while as others clamber over the shoulders of the complacent ones, searching in earnest for a higher position. i speak obviously of the underachievers in the world, which i personally attribute in part to their ignorance, which i have seen as willful and, for the moment at least, permanent. ignorance has set in, and the host has no problem with it, or is just too damn lazy to do anything about it. how are you satisfied with picking up garbage, working in a cubicle in a tiny office, or mopping floors? it is noteworthy that i do not speak of the disabled (mentally or physically) but of the lazy ones. if you have a physical or mental deformity and are as such unable to work in a higher position, i wholly accept you as a low level worker and appreciate your work. no, i speak of the smart ones, the clever ones, the lazy ones. the ones who could be the doctors, lawyers, judges, presidents, and education board of the future, but who are satisfied with skipping their classes and slacking off. you could be great, but you trade it for a block of 'hanging out' with friends. you'll have plenty of time to 'hang' during your half hour lunch break at McDonald's. alternatively, you could pick up your book and study, you could apply yourself and actually work to make something of yourself, and become the doctor who saves lives on the ER operating table, the prosecutor or judge who puts the murderers and rapists behind bars, or the head of the board of education, safeguarding our youth. on one hand, you have the complacent life of a sheep, willing to follow and become nothing, doing nothing but serving fries to the successful people. this life is the result of your shenanigans. on the other hand, you could study hard for yes, the next 5-9 years, rack up a hundred thousand dollars in student loans, and save lives. how many lives have been saved off the backs of our doctors and lawyers? that could be you. make it so.

2. Complaining and whining.

i have been dealing recently with a great deal of whining, both fro others and myself. i know, yes i am a hypocrite, but i have seen my problem and i am genuinely working on finding a solution. i am trying. are you? what good does it do to walk into the house and yell because someone left toys out, or because the mayonnaise is on the counter? there's rice on the floor? deal with it. the bathroom's dirty? clean it or shut up. better yet, both.the only purpose behind whining and complaining is to make someone else feel bad, and even if you do the job, the only purpose behind telling us all about it is to make us all feel bad for not doing it, or to make you feel better about yourself. are you really so petty as to need our approval on everything? if you answered yes to that, you may want to rethink... everything. if you answered no, then why do you feel the need to point out how much you've done? why do you need credit?

3. Minority rights.

<rant>
not many people like saying what i'm about to say: you want to be treated differently because of your ethnicity? GO THE FUCK BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM! i'm sorry, but i just don't care that you come from a society where people are stoned because you didn't get the dowry you were expecting, or a society that abhors other religions, or a society in which one cannot shave a lice-ridden head. instead of saying this, the majority bends over backwards to not offend the minorities. oh, well...we don't want to have a problem. we don't want to offend anyone. we don't want to exclude you. bullshit. you get the exact same treatment as everyone else. you try to cut in front of me in a long line because 'you need to get home before the Sabbath' (true story, not to me but it's common), you know what i'm gonna say? fucking get here earlier then. you have a head full of lice, but your people don't shave their heads? you sit for 3 hours cleaning fucking bugs from your hair, if it's not gone by tomorrow night, i'm shaving your head in your sleep. you'll wake up bald as an egg. i'm just saying. i should not be required to suffer for your stubbornness. you want the hard way? do it yourself, leave me the hell out of it. my point is, we have rules here. i don't know what the laws are wherever you come from, and frankly, i couldn't care less. it's not my problem unless i go there, and you can be damn sure that if i walked into your country, i would not expect to be treated like a Canadian, under Canadian laws and rules. no, i would be expected to be treated just like you are. your country - your rules. my country - my rules. my whitewashed, urban society: our customs. my house: white people rules or do it yourself.
</rant>

4. Closed minded people.

i'm tired of hearing 'that's stupid' or 'that won't work', said in your snotty, high and mighty, superior than you voice. open. your. mind. think about it. trust me, your ideas are not always right because they're yours. don't correct me wrongly, don't assume you're the only one in the group that knows what to do, and most important: don't dismiss my valid questions with a wave of your hand simply because your mind is closed. this has happened to me several times this week, while doing correspondence work. completely valid questions. i'm taking Psychology right now, and the question was ambiguous and very badly phrased. i asked my group about it, and got told to do my work and shut up with the stupid questions. i need to know if this question is an opinion question, asking me about my morals, or if it's asking me what was written in the book. as i does not say, and it is impossible to infer from context, it's a valid question. I was also told several days ago (indirectly, she couldn't even be bothered to tell it to my face) that someone hates me because i am apparently 'full of shit'. outstanding. can i have a definition? could you tell me what exactly that means and how i have possibly offended you? and if it's not a problem, could i get you to word it in a way that is not the most hurtful you could have possibly said? i'm not saying sugarcoat it. i'm saying, don't just drop the fucking bomb on me. i'm not sure how i could have offended you, you won't tell me, and you hate me for it. furthermore, i have not seen you since late January. you're holding a grudge from over 4 months ago? open. your. mind. either tell me what i've done so i can repair the damage, or drop the grudge. there's no need to be a bitch about it.

5. Obstinacy.

what is the mot logical reason for doing any one thing? any single action's motive can usually be logically seen basically as 'this will aid me in some way'. pretty straightforward, pretty obvious. but what motivates someone to do something that hurts them, simply because it hurts someone else more? why would you do any action that gains you nothing, simply because it causes someone else harm? honestly, in a completely rational sense, it makes sense to put yourself up at the expense of others. but in many cases i've seen in the last while, nobody gains. everyone loses, it's just a matter of who loses more. i have no answers here, just food for thought.

6. Liars.

this is mostly about lies of omission. it is a lie to knowingly tell something untrue, to leave our relevant information, or to add falsities to the truth. for example, not telling me that my reek of sweat is assailing your senses. the sweat is dry, i can't feel it. i'm not sweating right now. i can't smell it. you can, yet you tell me nothing. yes, it would be rude to tell me, but it would be even more rude to tell me on the FOURTH DAY OF THE WEEK. i arrive in exactly the same state 5 days a week, i get one comment on the fourth day. it'd be nice if you could warn me of my offensive odor a touch earlier. i understand that nobody wants to say it, that it's rude. but honestly, i'd rather have the truth so i could leave, that have you be uncomfortable all day sitting beside me. i hate liars.

7. Hypocrites.

i am one. you probably are one. we should probably do something about this, but me telling people to not be hypocrites while being one myself furthers myself as being one.

8. Flirtation confusion.

this last section is confusing to me. what constitutes flirtation, and what constitutes how a friend acts with a friend of the opposite gender? furthermore, will it not deteriorate a friendly relationship if one party drastically changes their behavior? a quippy, playful banter may be exactly what someone likes about me, but should i enter a relationship, need that change? most of my friends are girls, as the guys in my generation are pretty much douches and idiots, and i cannot relate to them at all (there are, of course, exceptions to every rule). entering a committed relationship would change the parameters of nearly all my relationships. that seems to me like a pretty hefty price...

after this long of a rant, i feel it important to say this: i am not expecting, nor do i want your pity. i do not want sympathy for anything aforementioned, i simply offer you these topics, which i personally believe are crucial and must be thought about and carefully considered, portrayed with anecdotes of my life. these notes are simply to provoke thought, not to usher in pity and help for me. think on what has been said.